


A Christmas to remember

by parkyparks



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: AFAB reader - Freeform, AU, Character Uses They/Them Pronouns, Christmas, Dancing, Fluff, Nonbinary Character, Other, Sharing a bed!, hella au, moved from wattpad, x Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25325458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkyparks/pseuds/parkyparks
Summary: Y/N reunites with their best friend at their parent's Christmas party
Relationships: Spencer Reid x Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	A Christmas to remember

**Author's Note:**

> TW for deadnaming (unintentionally)
> 
> Sorry if it's a bit scrambled, choppy or repetitive. I wrote it on wattpad and it's formatted differently on there

Y/N sighed as they drove down Main Street. They were going to their parent's vacation house for the annual Christmas party. It was snowing lightly, enough to be a nuisance but not enough to turn on the windshield wipers. Their parents lived way out in the woods; it was honestly a lovely drive. A small bridge lead them over the icy creek and up a winding hill before turning into the driveway. The parked off to the side and began to unload their things. First to greet Y/N was their parents, then their siblings. After that were the people they wanted to see the least, Mr. and Mrs. Reid.  
It wasn't anything the couple had done, it wasn't the couple, period. It was their son, who hadn't shown his face around town since leaving for collage. Immediately after graduation he got an offer to work with the FBI, which he took, leaving the town for good. Leaving Y/N for good. The two of them had been best friends since childhood. Spencer was exceptionally gifted and often teased for it by other kids. Y/N didn't mind that Spencer was more clever than them, and rather enjoyed listening to him ramble about the most descent thing he was fixated on. He had always been around for Y/N. Maybe that's why it hurt more than it should when he left, it was when they needed him most.  
The week after Spencer left, Y/N decided to come out to their parents. Their mom begged them not to change their name, ranting about how hard it was to pick and how it was a family name. Y/N argued that if they didn't want their kid to be trans and change their name, they shouldn't have had a kid in the first place, as it was always a possibility. Their father struggled with their pronouns a lot, but after a year got it down. It was a long, hard year, but Y/N came out better than ever.  
Four more years had passed since then. Y/N had a stable job and housing. Much to their parent's distress, they had no partners. Y/N had dated a few people, but no one they really connected with. It was okay though, they were happy.   
They brought their suitcase down to their bedroom. It was in the basement, but it wasn't as bad as it sounded. It had its own bathroom, plenty of privacy and a heater. It also had hundreds of memories of Spencer. Y/N shook their head clear and went to get the rest of their stuff, and to mingle.  
Y/N was on the couch talking with their cousin, Sarah, when it happened. They didn't notice him step into the room. They didn't watch his eyes light up when he recognized them. They didn't see him start towards them from across the room.   
"Olivia" he called.   
They didn't process it at first. No one had called them that in ages.   
"Olivia" he said, louder. People around them went silent. That's when Y/N noticed him.   
"Spencer"   
"Hello, Olivia"   
They swallowed nervously. "We need to talk, alone" they told him, apologizing to Sarah and leading Spencer to the kitchen.   
"Olivia I've mis-"   
"That's not my name anymore" they pushed out. God this was harder than coming out to their parents. "I'm Y/N now. My pronouns are they/them. I'm nonbinary"   
Spencer stared at them, flabbergasted. Y/N swollowed nervously.   
"I'm going to rejoin the party" they announced, and walked away. Spencer still didn't say anything.  
Y/N stood next to their sister, waiting for her attention"   
"Y/N, what's wrong?" She asked, noticing the look on their face.   
"Spencer's here, Allison"  
"He didn't know, did he"   
Y/N shook their head. They couldn't talk, it felt like someone was squeezing their throat.   
Allison pulled them out into the mudroom and into a hug. Y/N started to cry.   
"Shh. Hey, hey, it's okay. He probably just needs some time Y/N."   
"I-I know. I just-" they start crying harder. "I needed him so bad. I thought he'd be the only one to accept me"  
"Y/N" she whispers, rocking them gently. "It's gonna be okay"   
They took a deep breath. "I know. I'll probably never see him again" they said, only a little sarcasticly. Allison frowns but dosen't say anything.   
"I think I'm done crying"   
"Okay, I'll get you a wet towel. Yeah?"  
"Yeah. Thank you Allison, you don't suck sometimes."   
Allison smiles and leaves.  
Right after Y/N finishes wiping off their face, dinner is called. They make sure they aren't sitting next to or across from Spencer before sitting down. Allison sat next to them on the left and one of the neighbors sits on the right. Their grandmother sits across from them. Dinner went smoothly, although a lot of the focus was on Spencer. He was a profiler for the FBI after all, that was an interesting career.   
After dinner Y/N helped with dishes and setting up the desert table. They were transitioning to Y/N's favorite part of the night, the movie.  
They always watched Elf, it was tradition. The elders got first call on the furniture, so by the time it was Y/N's time to grab a seat, the only available place was the floor. Of course, they were prepared for this and brought up a blanket and pillow. This also meant Spencer was on the floor as well. Y/N ignored him as best they could, settling against the couch furthest from him. They were on opposite sides of the room, if Y/N looked straight in front of them, they'd probably make eye contact with their old friend. Good thing they were watching a movie.  
Y/N kept their eyes glued to the screen, but they weren't focused on the movie. They couldn't process it. They wanted to know what Spencer was thinking.   
Thirty minutes in, Spencer crawled over to the side of the room Y/N was on before standing up and leaving. He crawled so he wouldn't block the movie screen, not that anyone really cared. He went to the bathroom and did his business. He stared at himself in the mirror as he washed his hands. After he dried them, he gave himself one last reassuring smile before heading back to the living room.  
Spencer sat down next to Y/N. They looked at him, then turned right back to the movie. Now they definitely couldn't focus on it.   
Spencer was sitting so that he could see the TV, but more importantly he could see Y/N.   
"Stop staring at me" they whispered to him. His face flushed.   
"I'm not looking" he whispered back.  
"I didn't say looking, I said staring."   
One of the young kids nearby shh'ed them.   
"I'll stop" Spencer whispered anyway.   
Y/N just nodded.   
He kept looking, more discreetly this time. Y/N still felt his eyes on them, but they pushed him out of their brain and focused on the movie.  
The movie ended and the credits started to roll. Sarah and some of the other families left then, to bring their kids home and put them to bed. Some relatives who lived far away would sleep upstairs or in a hotel. Spencer joined Y/N's mother in the kitchen to help make hot cocoa. Y/N went out to the backyard to help their father with the bonfire.   
The white snow glistened in the moonlight. It really was lovely out here. Y/N dragged some branches over to where the fire was starting and sat down to watch. They watched the flames lick the air and wrapped their jacket tighter around them.  
They looked around the yard more, the dark woods that surrounded it, the moonlight casting weird shadows, the warm glow of the fire thrown carelessly out in all directions. Eventually their eyes landed on the pond. It was iced over now, but in the summer it was warm enough to swim in. Y/N and Spencer had spent many days hunting for frogs there when they were little. They shook their head, turning their focus back to the party. Everyone was outside now. They picked Spencer out of the crowd easily. Y/N grabbed a cup of cocoa and looked around until they found Allison. She was, of course, listening to Spencer. They walked up beside her and started listening to the story he was telling. It was about one of the cases he had worked on. He smiled at them when he noticed their presence. They took a sip of their cocoa and turned away.  
Y/N went back to sitting by the fire. They made small talk with their relatives and family friends until their cocoa ran out.   
"I'm tired, I'll be heading to bed now" they said to no one in particular, and headed inside.   
Once in the basement they put on some music, took off their binder, and changed into pajamas. They danced around their room a bit, despite not being in a dancy mood, it helped lift their spirit a bit.  
"You're a good dancer" Spencer said softly from the doorway.   
"Spencer, I-, uh, why are you down here"   
He looked down at his feet. "I came to apologize. I had no idea you were trans. I figured you'd changed a bit, I just wasn't expecting that."   
Y/N sighed and nodded. "I understand. Thank you. It was a pretty big change. How long were you watching me earlier?"   
"Not very long. Enough to know you're good"   
Y/N tried not to blush. "Thanks. It's not really that impressive, just moves from 'just dance' and tiktok dances strung together with lots of bouncing"   
"It's better than I can do, I only know one dance."   
"Really Spence? It's not that hard." Y/N didn't realize they used his nickname. "Dance with me."   
"What? No. No, I can't, really."   
"Sure you can, come on"   
Y/N shuffled their favorite playlist. The first song to come on was only wanna dance with you by Ke$ha and they figured that was dancy enough.   
They took Spencer's hand. "Okay just move, do what I do if you need. Do whatever feels right, yeah?"   
Pink dusted his cheeks and he nodded.  
Spencer was right, he couldn't really dance. He was spinning around the room and jumping and flailing his arms. Y/N tried not to laugh.   
"You're looking good Spence"   
"Thanks Y/N," he said breathlessly. "I feel silly. Imagine what my co-workers would say if they were here"   
"Well, they're not."   
"Fair point"   
"Do you wanna do something you're more comfortable with? You could show me how you dance" they offered.   
Spencer blushed again. "It's actually a partner dance"   
"You can teach it to me, if you want"   
He thinks for a moment and nods.   
"Let me find a song"  
Spencer finds a song he thinks will work, then offers Y/N his hand. They talk it, and he pulls them closer, letting one hand settle on their waist, holding the other one tight.  
"This is okay, right? I don't want to make you dysphoric."   
"No, this is good"   
"That's also not how it works" they added in their head, but they didn't feel the need to say it out loud.  
"Okay. The part you'll be doing is technically called the lady's part, and if I didn't have to lead I'd let you but I-"   
"It's alright Spence, just show me how to do this."   
"It's hard to explain. Just count to three and follow my lead"   
He took three small steps, which you mimicked, before changing directions. Again, three steps, change directions, three steps, change directions.   
"How do you know how to waltz?"   
"Okay, this is quite silly, so please don't laugh."  
"Okay"   
"Remember sixth grade, when everyone started 'dating'?"   
"Yeah. I remember"   
"And everyone was picking someone to take to the dance that Friday, you were worried you wouldn't be picked. You asked me to go"   
Y/N blushed and nodded.  
"I asked my mom to teach me to dance, in case you wanted to. I practiced all week."   
His face is bright red and you can't help but laugh a little bit.   
"You're so precious"  
Y/N yawned as the song came to a close.   
"Thanks Spencer, that was fun"   
"Yes well. I'm glad I finally got to put those lessons to use"   
You smile at him.   
"Are you going to spend the night?"   
"Oh! Well, I wasn't planning to. It is quite late though."   
"You could spend the night, if you want" They offer. "Just like old times"  
"I'd like that, Y/N. Let me go get changed."   
They nod. "I'll be here"   
Y/N was laying on their bed, reading on their phone when Spencer came back. He was wearing red flannel pajama pants and a plain black shirt. They scooted to the far side of the bed, giving Spencer room to climb in beside them.   
It was a double bed, so it was cozy to say the least.   
"Will you plug in my phone for me?" Y/N asked Spencer, handing him their phone. The bed was pressed against the wall so to get to their charger Y/N would have to climb over Spencer. They figured it would be better to ask him to do it for them.   
"Thank you" they murmured, rolling to face the wall once more.   
"No problem. Goodnight, Y/N"   
"Goodnight Spencer"  
Y/N didn't go back to sleep immediately after that like they had wished. They weren't used to sleeping in this bed, without constant noise, or with someone. The silence was louder than the busy city streets outside their New York City apartment.   
"Spencer?"  
"Yes, Y/N?"  
They were glad to hear that he still sounded wide awake.   
"Tell me about something"   
"What kind of something?"   
"I don't know, work, space, anything really."  
"I can't tell you much about my job" he murmured. "It's classified. However, I can tell you about space"   
Y/N rolled over to face him so they could hear better.   
"Anything in particular you want to hear about?" He asked. They shook their head.   
"Okay, did you know that if two pieces of the same kind of metal touch in space, that they will permanently bond? It's called cold welding and happens because the atoms have no way of knowing they're separate."  
Spencer spoke to Y/N with a soft voice, never wavering. They stare at him as they listen, admiring his jawline and show-stopping brown eyes.   
"I missed you." Y/N blurts, interrupting Spencer's ramblings.   
"I missed you too"   
Y/N sits up and Spencer does the same. They open their arms and Spencer pulls them against his chest in a tight embrace.   
"I wanted to come out to you first." They mumble into his shoulder. "You left before I got the chance. I told my parents maybe a month after you left, they didn't get it at first. They're amazing now but when I first came out, I never felt more alone."  
Spencer held them closer. "I'm so sorry. I don't know why I never called, sure I was busy but I could've made the time, and I guess after a while I thought maybe you'd forgotten me."   
"Spencer, you're the most unforgettable person I've ever met, and probably just in existence."   
He runs his slender fingers through their hair.   
"I don't blame you anymore, for going to collage"   
"You used to though"   
It wasn't a question. They nod.   
"I was mad. I needed you more than ever, and you weren't there"   
He rests his cheek on top of their head. "And I had no idea"   
"It's okay Spencer, it's not your fault."  
"I should've noticed something was up with my best friend."   
"It was all in my head. I was careful to keep it secret. You had no way of knowing"   
He sighed. "I know. I just wish I could've been there for you.   
"You're here now, that's what matters." They smile up at him.   
"I guess so"  
The friends settle back into bed, a little closer this time. Spencer continued to tell them about space until they fell asleep.   
When they woke up the next morning he was gone. They honestly weren't sure it hadn't just been a dream until they rolled over and saw the empty spot in their bed. The blankets were pushed back, but Spencer has made sure they were completely covered before leaving. Y/N snuggled deeper into the blankets. They didn't fall back to sleep, but they rested for about a half an hour extra.  
Eventually they made their way back upstairs and acquired some pancakes.  
They hung out in the living room until it was time for presents. Y/N loved watching their friends and family open the gifts they had gotten for them, especially the young ones, they got the most excited. They got some nice things too, lots of stuff for their apartment and some money. Money was the best gift they got, honestly.   
The family was almost done opening gifts when Spencer came back. He entered the room quietly, but Y/N noticed him this time.   
"Hey everybody" he said.   
He was greeted warmly by the group. He joined them, sitting next to Y/N on the couch. They sit with each other in silence, watching the joyful chaos unfold before them.  
"I got something for you" Spencer eventually mumbled, blushing.   
He handed Y/N a small, crudely wrapped gift box. They opened it quickly and discovered a jewelry box.   
Spencer was fiddling with his hands as they opened it and discovered the necklace inside.   
It was a gold locket with their initials carved into it.   
"I hope you like it, I don't know if you still wear stuff like this anymore but I saw it and remembered how much you wanted a locket. I got it months ago but I had to go out this morning and get the letters changed, obviously, thank god there was an open store within 100 miles of here, I was really worried."   
"Spencer." Y/N said softly. "I love it"   
He smiled. "I'm very glad you do"   
"Help me put it on?" They asked.   
He nodded and took the necklace from Y/N and hung it around their neck.   
"How'd you even remember I wanted one of these?"   
"Eidetic memory, remember?"   
"Thank you" they said again.   
"Of course. It doesn't have a photo in it yet, but I'm sure my parents will give you one"   
"If I even want a picture of you in it" Y/N teased.   
"Hey! My initials are on there too" Spencer pointed out, taking their hands.   
They smiled at him, but then their smile slipped away when they realized something.   
"I didn't get you anything."   
"That's okay, Y/N. Seeing you, seeing you happy, is the best gift I could've gotten."   
Y/N rolled their eyes. "Yeah yeah. You put so much effort into this." They mumbled, holding the pendent in their hand. "I just wish I did something for you, too"   
"Next year, Y/N"  
"So I will see you next year?"   
"I'll do everything I can to be here" Spencer promised, linking their pinkies together.   
Y/N grins at him.  
"I'd Ike to see you sooner as well, if you'd like"   
"Yeah, i'd like" they laughed.   
"Where are you living now, anyway?"   
"New York City."   
"Oh. Wow, you always talked about it, it happened."  
Y/N shrugged. "Pretty much. It's not on the top floor, but I did manage to get a bunk bed."  
"that's impressive actually. I assume most buildings wouldn't."   
"Yeah, it definitely took some looking."  
"Who sleeps on the bottom bunk?"   
"I live alone, actually. And I sleep on the bottom bunk."  
"You always insisted on sleeping on the top bunk at my house."   
"It's not worth the effort of climbing up there anymore."   
"Goddamn have we gotten old" he mumbled  
The friends talked for the rest of the day, catching up on everything new in each other's lives.  
Slowly, Y/N's relatives left the house until they, along with Spencer and his family were the only ones still there.   
"I wish I could stay longer, but I have a plane to catch." Spencer sighed.   
Y/N nodded. "It was great to see you, Spence"   
"It was great to see you, Y/N"   
They smiled at each other.   
"Uh, I'm going to put my things in the car and-"  
"Oh, yeah, yeah you go do that I'll just-"   
"Uh," he laughs awkwardly. "Yeah you do that"   
"Yeah"   
Y/N runs inside and locks themself in the bathroom. They take a few breaths in the bathroom mirror before heading out to the driveway to say their goodbyes to Spencer  
"I'm really happy you came, and we got to talk"  
Spencer turned from the suitcase he was loading into the trunk and towards Y/N.   
"I'm glad we got to see each other as well. I'm sorry our reunion wasn't as perfect as I was hoping."   
"It's okay Spencer. Again, you didn't know."   
He offers Y/N his arms once more, and they launch themself into his arms. The pair rock back and forth slowly, still holding tightly to one another.   
"Is it bad that I miss you already?"   
"No Y/N. I promise we'll see each other again soon"  
"I love you Spencer" they whispered.   
"And I love you, Y/N"   
They pulled back and walked him to the driver side door.   
"So I guess this is goodbye"   
"For now, yes. I'll try to text you regularly."   
They nodded. "Okay"  
Spencer observed the tears brimming in their eyes and made a rash decision. Gently cupping their face with his large hands, he leans in slowly, giving them time to process it and push him away if they weren't comfortable. He presses a chaste kiss to their lips and feels them smile before returning it.   
"You're still the most attractive person I know"   
Y/N blushes. "Thank you."   
"Yeah"   
"You should go, you'll need time to get through security"   
"Oh! Yes, that's right. Airport, Quantico"   
"Yes. Goodbye Spencer"   
"Goodbye, Y/N"   
They watch him get into the car and start it.   
"I love you so" they say, not quite loud enough to be heard.   
They climb onto the porch and watch and wave as Spencer pulls out of the driveway, the car's stereo playing an owl city song they couldn't quite put a name to.  
Early the next morning they receive a text reading "made it back safe" with an attached selfie of Spencer in front of what they assume to be FBI headquarters.   
Y/N saves the photo to their phone and types out a reply.   
They felt lighter then they had in a long time. They were talking with their best friend, maybe more now, again. Things felt okay for the first time in years.   
Y/N lie in bed that night, rubbing their thumb over the engraving on the locket, relishing the memories they had made in the last 24 hours.  
It truly was a Christmas to remember.


End file.
